While thinking about immigration or just any transition in one’s life one of the first things that come to mind is loneliness. We cannot brush off the fact that we feel lonely sometimes. Is it a good thing? Perhaps, there is a meaning behind it if it’s successfully transformed into solitude. My thinking often associates with colors. I see colors in words; infatuation – maroon, beige and a bit of yellow, serendipity pastel blue and mild gray. The word “loneliness to me is green. The type of green that you see in European palaces, sumptuous, yet lifeless. Whereas there is a certain element of luxury to solitude, because solitude is multi-layered, and it may nurture us, loneliness is one-dimensional and nagging.
So, what makes us lonely? In her book The Lonely City: Adventures in the Art of Being Alone, Olivia Laing reflects the reality of loneliness.The book contains personal insights given by famous writers and artists who experienced it while living in New York. While their stories differ from one another, one denominator remains the same: loneliness feels in a more acute, ruthless way in the environment of a big city. This acute loneliness does not come as a surprise as we mostly view ourselves in comparison to others and big cities provide so much diversity for our brain’s fruitful disquisition; we refine style, each other’s level of wealth, depth of sophistication, the degree of exposed colors.
We feel lonely in a crowd of strangers because it is painful to see so many people around who don’t know our names. It seems that by visualizing the number of individuals who don’t participate in our lives, we feel rejected by more even though the truth does not change.
Loneliness comes from the feeling of the void between cracks; it is not contagious but influential. We learn from it a lot as isolation puts our ability to make peace with ourselves to the tryout. Loneliness comes from emotional unrest and can only turn into solitude by resolving the conflict. Solitude is the matter of choice, but with the right mindset, loneliness can transfer into solitude. It requires learning how to be happy with yourself and how to embrace your inner world with its flaws and shredded hopes. Because ultimately, only we can save our lives and lead us through the thorns. We need to be alone to recharge batteries; we need ourselves to tell us that we will be ok in the silence of our homes. Self-reliance and self-acceptance bring us confidence and power as it is almost a form of art to be comfortable alone with ourselves and this art takes some skills to master. Most importantly, we should not treat aloneness as something wrong as loneliness and solitude eventually bring solace.